A Battle With Fear

At one point I have talked about my problem with over thinking things , scaring myself, and then abandoning the original plan because I created an elephant out of the fly and decided that the obstacles that I am faced with are immovable.  I even put myself in front of a challenge to not over think things for a month. Let me tell you, it was very, very hard and I am not sure that I was as successful as I intended to be at the beginning. 

Recently, I embarked on a journey of not only bettering my mind and body, but also on a journey of developing and growing my business. I noticed that my habit of over thinking and making my challenges seem larger than they are is actually putting me behind the curve when it comes to my professional life as well as when it comes to my athletic abilities. 

The only way I know how to combat this irrational fear is to simply ignore it and push forward despite the sheer terror that I experience sometimes in the face of difficult circumstances. I wonder how things would be if I didn't have to expand my energy on relentlessly perusing what I set out to achieve, if I didn't find myself all but paralyzed by my insecurity so often? Is there another way to combat self doubt? A better way to stare failure in the face and not flinch? I don't know. However, I am determined to find out one way or another. I refuse to be defeated by something that only exists in my imagination!

Weekly Check-in and My Thoguhts on Fear and Personal Training Certification

Recently I have been researching a few personal training certifications. I have been trying to get a feel for the field and attempt to figure out if personal training is something that I could be happy with. It seems like all of the pieces are there, the dedication, the desire to help, the thirst for knowledge, and the wealth of resources and people who are willing to pass on their own years of experience as trainers to me in order to help me become a better trainer. Yet, I am still experiencing doubts about my direction. In many cases, I doubt myself and my own knowledge, then I look at myself in the mirror and realize: well, you got yourself this far, and look at you! Looking good, feeling good, you have the knowledge and the ability to know anything, what else do you need? 

That's where my problem is hiding. For most of my "education" career (I did a lot of tutoring and TAing in college) I have always second guessed myself. I second guess myself on everything! I notice even in my day to day life it takes me hours to figure out whether I want fish or chicken for dinner because there are just too many variable to take into account! Come on, it can't be that difficult. So, part of my June goals is to make quick decisions for 1 month without second guessing or attempting to adjust.

I tell you what, this has been, by far, the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. In the last 12 days I second guessed myself plenty of times, but I have found the reason of why I do it. It is fear. Fear is the root of the problem. Fear of not being good enough. Now I have to deal with the reasons why I don't think that I am good enough and all will be well.

As far as personal training certification is concerned, I decided that I will study, observe, shadow other trainers, and explorer my possibilities further until I learn how not to doubt myself. I think that would be a valid approach to the situation, what do you think?